roadblocks

I have told my #1 boss several times about how many road blocks I run in to while working with people from other departments when trying to get something done. The two main problems are !. communication problems an d 2. unwillingess to perform / cooperate. Nothing changes. There has to be a way to bring these issues up to someone who can start a campaign to recognize the issues and do something about it. When something has "always" been done a certan way, there seems to be a real reluctance to consider trying a different way. Part of that has to be a turf issued, don't step on my stuff. Another part is a control issue,,,, Who does she think she is asking me that????? Part of it also is thinking that you are going to lose something if you are not in the loop. I don't know if they are afraid they will lose control, recognition, power, face, or what.

Crazy Times

My son called twice today from jail, while his dad was gone to Lowe's trying to fix a freaking leak under the sink. Both times he called, he was so agreesive, he finally said he had no one to talk to or vent his frustrations with, All of his friends have disappeared and he cna't get in touch with his ex, who he still loves, at least that 's what he is saying now. We talked about a lot of things, including him drying to blame me for him being there. I reminded him that I was not the one stealing and forging signatures, that he knew right from wrong and knew that we had told him that the nest time it happened we would press charges, He said, Bur you pressed 6 charges, I said You signed 6 signatures that we know of. What do you expect? Why did you do it? I didn't do anythjing wrong, just stupid things. You don't think it's wrong what you did? So youre saying its my falut. Yest I am saying it is your fault. It is your resposinsibility, If you are man enough to step out and do these things, then you should be man enough to stand up and take the punishment. His daughter was here and she got on the phone with him, something she rarely does. She told him she loved him and missed him very much and she wanted him to come home from work right now and play with her. It made him cry right there in central holding surrounded by 20 to 25 people waiting for arraignment and placement. He told me that he knew how I felt about him and that I was glad to have the burden of him lifted off me. I told him he must not know anything about how I feel if that is what he thought. This is going to be a rocky road. His birthday is coming up next week, It's not the first time he has passed a birthday while incarcerated. Which is just more of the sad part of all this, The loss of a regular life, the loss of friends and companions, the loss of family ties, the loss of his life as he knew it. He is suffering untold missery, but I do not feel sorry for him. He will have to suffer some for this to have an impact.

Stressing

I am the queen of stress. I am currently producing more that normal, even for me. I have two major situations going on at the same time. One at home, one at work. No fair. I don't seem to be able to let go of either one at this moment. The one at home hurts my heart and will affect me for the rest of my life. I will talk about that another time. The one at work causes me to alternate between anger, sinicism, pain, loss of face, you name it., mostly because the two bosses have lost or never had confidence in me, but have now been able to verbalize it, at least the first level boss was assigned the task. The next day they were both grinning in my face, I wanted to spit in theirs, but turned off well almost, turned off my emotional response to them I am ready to move on, to get away from their coniving. If I am unable to do the job, as they say that I am, then I want them to get with the program and change stuff around so that I can go to a more productive area. I am nervous about the position I am going to assume. Hope I can keep up physically. WHich of course stresses me. What I want is to be vindicated, but I don't see it happening with these two. The new position is fluid at this moment, so I expect them to continue to change the duties, as they have done consistently since I started here some years ago.

living with decisions

Be sure that when you make a decision, it is one you can live with in the moment and also in the future. We have decided to press charges against our son and have now done so and he has been arrested and charged and remains in jail awaiting arraingment. Because he no longer has a place here, he has no place to go. So the judge plans to keep him in jail till the arraingment. If he agrees to the opportunities the Judge lays out for him, he will remian in jail til a bed comes upen at the trteatment center. If he declines to go into treatment, he will remain in jail.

His daughter was crying for her mother tonight. That upsets me enough that I have cried during those times. If she starts crying for her daddy, God help me. '

I am sad, I am relieved. I am worried. I am not angry. At least not at this moment.

I guess what makes me sad is the loss of what could have been and the pain of what has been. All your hopes and dreams for your child or children are carried with you from a time far before you have your child. When he comes into your world, some dreams are fullfilled quickly. Other dreams take longer to come to fruition. But you do put so much of yourself into guiding him and teaching him how to get along in this world. When things go well, are he is exceptional, you are proud, you are pleased, you assume this momentum will continue. Then things start to go wrong. At first there is no rhyme or reason, then as reality sinks in, you look for something that you can do to change things. This turns out to be painful too, for no matter what you do, it only makes a difference for a sort time, if at all. The child goes deeper and deeper into his own world where you are not allowed. He truly becomes another person that you do not recognize at times. He goes from problem to problem, only getting worse. There are judgements and diagnoses and facilities and medicines. And still it gets worse. At some point you begin to realize that things are not going to get better. As the Judge reminded us this week "These things end badly".

a turn of events.

I had the most unpleasant situation today. My feelings were hurt and I got so mad at the same time. Of course, the one thing I don't want to do is cry, so I cried. I am mad at myself for crying instead of maintaining my composure and giving my boss the opportunity to listen to me be calm and nice about getting the shaft.

I have had my job changed on me at least once a year since I have been on staff. The most recent change has caused me to come under close scrutiny by everyone from the CEO and COO on down. After the last 3 weeks, it has come to the attention of my boss that "people are expressing concerns" that I might not be able to handle the job. She could not tell me what people or what concerns. But concerns non the less, which would cause me to not be able to function in the current job.

I guess the good news is that there is another position open to me now. And it just so happens that the person they had chosen for that job, has excellent experience in the job I am now vacating. Why couldn't they just come out and say, We don't like how this is working out with you and we want to put this person in that job. Instead she has beat around the bush and not finish thoughts and tell me how hard this is for her. Who gives a crap about how hard it is for her. Certainly not me, unless it would be for it to be even harder on her as time goes on. She and her boss the VP love to trash someone when they are down. Passive Agressive personality traits prevail.

Truthfully, If I am not a good match for the job, I should not be doing the job. I don't want to knowingly hold up progress. This newest focus of the job has caused me great stress. I have not had clear instruction, until 2 weeks into start up. The expectations of reporting information has changed on a daily basis. At the same time that this has been occurring, I have had tremendous stress in my personal life. So it sucks on both sides. I feel worn our and fragile and irritable.

I questioned my self prior to moving forward with this new focus of the job to see if I could handle it. I chose to stick with in. What a mistake.... The people I work the closest with think I am doing fine. Unless they are withholding judgement for fear of pushing me over the edge. The two people I have the least respect for and who are the most powerful in the department are the ones who don't have a problem giving me grief. There have been several high level meetings on this new focus, none of which I was privy to, nor did i get any filtered infromation from. So I am running blind until something "comes up". THen they are all atwitter about what I should have done. They of course, were not there at the time the event was going down.

I need to find the strength in me to move on into this new job classification with an open mind, instead of with dread. I will be focused in an entirely different department, fast paced, close knit, top notch professionals working in over crowded conditions, with unrealistic expectations all around. Sounds great. My current boss told me that I would have a hard time fitting in there, that they have to accept me first. Like I don't know that already. I'd like to see her get her fat butt embarrassed by someone trying to demean her. That's vengence, if you haven't noticed. Something we are not supposed to want to get. Well Guess What. I want it.

judges chambers

The detective that is working with us to press charges against our son for theft and forgery sent us to the the judge. This was an interesting experience. He was forthcoming but thoughtful and kind without being condescending or "judgemental". He obviously has a lot of experience with young people with the same problems and very different thought processess than the general public. He listened and gave his opinions and he orchestrated a plan. It is a plan we can live with, even though we really have doubts that our son will be able to accept and complete the plan. His option against a multi year jail term will be inpatient drug treatment including mental health care, half way house work and strict after with drug court and probation. If he declines any of this plan he spends his time behind bars. We wanted to make in clear to the judge that we were not there looking for favors or leninecy but for appropriate punishment. The more questions he asked the more involved it all became. When we told him that our son was no longer welcome in our home, and had no where to go but the streets or the Salvation Army, he elected to keep him in jail until a bed becomes available at Red River treatment center. We are however skeptical that the drug and mental health treatment will have an impact since it will not be his decision. We hope though, that this becomes his rock bottom and that he searches his soul and works for improvement. The judge felt we just had not had a big enough stick after him yet. He gave us his card and told us to call him if we needed him.

the justice system

We are now at the mercy of the justice system. My husband had an appoint to see the detective today to file charges in regards to the report we made on Friday. He was informed of the drama, history, drug addiction and mental illness issues. He reviewed the long list of previous charges that have been levied against our son since he turned 18. It is a long disheartening list. But he noticed that there has been no treatment mandated in any of the court proceedings (and no followup) So he has advised us to see the Judge as soon as possible to discuss the case and our feelings and the detective's recommendations and to hear what the Judge has to say about the same things. Then a plan will be made by the Judge. Then our son will be arrested. Then his recent bond for the December arrest will be revoked so that we don't run the risk of loosing our house if he should be released from custody and decide to run seeing as how the detective said that the jail is overcroweded and if they need his bed for someone with a worse charge than he is charged with, out he goes. If he is realeased, he has no place to go, literally. He may be allowed in at the Salvation Army, but he will have to follow their rules, too. Who can predict what he will do?

the plot thickens

First Boss comes to me and says " I dont' want this to be a battle" . Interesting. like she thinks I would want a daily battle with her and VP. What I want is for them to leave me alone except to check on status and set out some rules. The rules unfortunately are changed or added to daily. We also have a daily meeting AFTER time for me to leave. I said on THursday and 4:45 I can't stay late every day for a meeting. First Boss just looked at me and I went on about my business. Each day we have had one of these meetings has been a learning experience for me. Some have been painful. All are surprising, for no matter what I have prepared, it's not what they want. Part of this is the inability for me to communicate with VP. I go into a mode in which she is speaking a language I have never heard. My responses only elicit other unrelated responses back from her. I feel she thinks I am an embicile when this occurs. I am consciously working on this problem so that I do not revert when she is grilling me.

I have to find a way to cut the busy work in the afternoons. There is too much happening in those hours. I have already elected to have the switchboard cut off my cell phone calls at 4pm, since I leave at 4:30. The house super can take over the calls at that time since it will take an hour or more to process the case and assign a room if we are as full as we have been for two weeks.
We don't have many problem calls, but we do have a lot of calls. I need to log each one so that we can track and trend what is going on and learn from the problems.

First Boss also told me Friday that she is going to move some of my other work to 4 people who usually are busy and certainly feel that they are worked to their capacity.The problem is that these 4 people are not following up on possibly unfinished cases. She plans to announce this change in a general staff meeting, not in a meeting with just this group. I think the point of that is to diffuse their reaction. My cohort and I have been working diligently to find a way to stop this persistent problem that ends up on my desk. Each solution we have come up with is not followed through with by the folks who can stop the problem. And the follow through problem is not addressed by First Boss. Until now. We'll see if she actually announces it this coming week.

I have been vidicated!!

Remember the fluidity of my job?? Well yesterday I got what I consider a major put down combo ass chewing - undeserved in my opinion. The cause of this put down combo ass chewing was "their" opinion that I had over done a job, wasted time, over provided, as it were. Of course, I did not fell this was a justified complaint at all. I felt that "they" were making a mountain out of a molehill and because I did not agree with them on the first run through, they repeated it 3 times. Then they were dumbfounded because I was upset and loud. I agree that I am not on the same planet as they are, one of them even more so, maybe not in the same universe, but this was ridiculous. And they start this afternoon meeting with me after it is time for me to go home. Please, wake up people, I don't like it here anymore.

Now for the vidication. This morning one of my buddies slips over to tell me that VP BMOC, one of the favored ones, is here in the office speaking to my boss but looking for me. Interesting, but I have no idea what he could want, unless of course he wanted to make a mountain out of a molehill, in which case, I felt he could come find me where I had been communing with my best bud at work. The look she gave me made me get up and go met BMOC. Well can I tell you that he had a big smile on his face and was speaking nicely but loudly. He said - paraphasing - I want to thank you for doing such a great job - I said OK, thanks. He went on _ This is just great, I am so pleased - me - What exactly are you talking about? He goes over the scenario briefly and yes, friends, it is the same issue that I got the PDCAC about mentioned above. me- COme over to my cubby hole and we can talk about it. He followed me to my temporary digs and asked me a little bit and then he went on and on about how important my job is, how I went above and beyond , accomplished a difficult task, made a major step for the hospital, if I had any problems at all working in this particualr situation to contact him directly. I was flabbergasted. and so pleased. and surprised. I could not figure out how he could possibly have known about this so fast and had so positive a spin on it. He did not let me in on his communicaiton secrets but he assured me that the incident was know all the way to the top . He did ask me why I was so surprised and I told him about the PDCAC. He said, that is inappropriate and you did the exactly correct thing. I couldn't be more pleased. I asked him if he had discussed it with my big boss and he said no, but that he would "mention" it to her. My immediate boss had heard all or most of the interchange, except the quiet part about her PDCAC, and she came around the corner when she couldn't stand it any more. He spoke to her repeating some of the same things again. I can't remember what she said except that it was a work in progress.....off she went to a meeting and he on to something else. I am left sitting there in smug dumbfoundedness. A cohort comes flying around the corner and is tickled to death. My best bud comes around from the other side and had some great comments too. We were like 'OMG" what next. I couldn;t gloat too long as things get busy pretty fast, but I had to talk about it some.... I'll do better tomorrow.

typically nasty weather

Yesterday when we went to pick the girl up from day care to take her to dance class, she wasn't there. Her mother was unavailable by phone, the other grandmother hadn't heard from them today, so didn't know anything, and she wasn't at home. It's moments like this when I say ( among other things) IHTB. After 5:30 her mother comes pulling up in our driveway, where I do not want her at all to drop the girl off. It seems mother can't find the battery to her phone. In the past that has meant that the phone has been thrown and the battery flew off and can't be located or she doesnt want to look for it. and oh by the way, she hasn't had a nap today. .... So we keep her yesterday evening and everything is ok except for when it is time to get ready for bed. She gets wound up and insists she is not tired and cries and eats and gets rocked and what ever else it takes to get her to sleep. whew. Today the girl stayed home with her Pawpaw because the weather was bad and the roads had ice potential and schools were closed. I did not hear from her mother while at work, nor could I reach her on her cell. Good thing we didn't have a freaking crisis to report. This evening she called, and against my wishes she and my son spoke for a few moments. I do not want them talking to each other about anything except the girl, and I really don't want them to talk about that either. I do not want them to have any contact what so ever, but you can't always get what you want. Instead of lettting me speak to her before he hung up, the rude cretin,, went ahead and hung up and told me to call her later. I called back and something was wrong with her phone. Imagine that. So I guess she just assumes we are keeping the girl tonight and that there is no need to contact us about that or anything else. I will have to try again tomorrow since my husband and I are both tied up tomorrow afternoon and or evening.

The Happy Dance

I needed to find a door to hide behind and do the happy dance today. and I needed to find my two compadres and tell them why I wanted to do the happy dance. I wanted to have time to smirk around for a little while and I wanted to say...See I told you, you don't know everything after all, do you, you snooty witches., but I didn't. I said OK and went on about my duties, putting out fires and fielding questions.

fluidity of work hits the dam

My immediate supervisor can not carry out a task to completion. There is no follow through or follow up in general. She has been working on a major change in how a frequent task is handled that includes me as the central figure in the task. She has revised the policy and procedure 3 times and has yet to discuss it at all with me. She has this policy and procedure affecting a major department in the facility and potentially affecting every physician on staff. Unfortunately, the department has not been fully informed of the changes in the task and she has not taken any steps to notify any of the physicians. Gee, I wonder how they will react when they are questioned about what they are doing by someone in a postition they don't know exists for reasons that are not going to be clear to them... Today my immediate supervisor and her immediate supervisor, a VP in the organization came spinning around the corner of my makeshift cubbyhole that I have outgrown since adding the new big task to my list of duties. They wanted to know how many cases I had worked on in the new mode today. Two. What? we only got calls on two people? "No, this is all I have worked on. I noticed today in the draft of the p&P that the staff of the ... department are to notify me of all calls. They don't know anything about it and are going about business as usual." My immediate supervisor said " I haven't talked to (their boss) about the changes yet." Imagine that. When I discussed my big case with them, they questioned my actions and made a statement that Medicare doesn't allow that. I said, I know ya'll keep saying that, but (their favorite ) and I I are not aware of this rule and disagree with the explanation. That took them back a step and they infomred me that it is in the Medicare handbook. I said well maybe so, but I can make a case for doing it my way. Then she agreed with me!! In front of the VP. Impossible. You never know what will happen from one moment to the next.

hard decisions

There comes a time in some peoples lives that a hard decision must be made. We are faced - for the third time - with the act of pressing charges against our son. Think about it, the child you raised is causing such havoc in your life that you are going to the police to get him to stop, at least temporarily. He has stolen from us again. Writing hot checks .... we don't know how many yet and since it is a holiday weekend, he may have ruined us by Tuesday. It is my understanding that with a police report we can recover the cost of the checks from the credit union's insurance company. We found out by accident. When we went to the corner store to get our lottery tickets, the very nice lady who works there happened to tell us that our son had cashed a check from us there yesterday. Of course, my husband said, I didn't write him a check, I was out of town, don't cash another check from him. I am assuming he is financing his weekend since he has not been here since some time Friday during the day and it is now Saturday after the Saints game.

It is useless to wonder if this is the right decision, the only positive aspect is that is is a decision that we agree on totally.

It is quite possible that these charges as well as the ones we press for him taking my medicaitons and the lock box they were in, will tip him over to habitual offender. That can be a 5 year sentence rather than a fine and a few months for possession and flight that he got arrested for just after Christmas. 5 years is quite a sentence. Although it is his actions that are leading him down this path, it is our action of pressing charges that will spin this all into action.

Every person has their limit. I think we have met ours. I hate the idea of him being in jail with all the problems that he has had in jail before, but I can not continue to let him ruin his own life, our lives and his daughters life. He has to face consequences for things he has done. Of course, when he is in this crazy mode of his, he won't see blame for anything he has done, it will be blaming us for what we have done.

It will be hard to tell his daughter when she asks, but until she is older, the answer will be that he is "at work". No body deserves to have their dad jerked out of their lives, but this is also something that has to be done. He has been coming and going in her life recently, since his girlfriend broke up with him. He can't spend more that 15 minutes of continuous interaction with her at any given moment. Sometimes she doesn't even ask about him when she is here maybe because we keep her busy and shower her with love and attention. Tonight she was pretending to be someone else and she said " I smile when I see my daddy because I am happy. My mama screams at me/" I hate for her to loose contact with her daddy, but she won't be going to visit him while he is incarcerated. At least not at this writing.

fluidity of tasks at work.

Fluidity of tasks at work.... Is Fluidity a regular word, or one that I have now created. It needs to have a surreal connotation in that it represents the other wordly experience of trying to figure out how to perform according to a procedure that was written by someone who has NOTHING to do with the procedure itself, how the work USED to flow, where the ROADBLOCKS are, how the cell phone that will be permanently linked to my ear DOES NOT work everywhere I will need to be.... That kind of feeling, that has been brought on by someone who will remain nameless but is ...You know, a "manager" that has been promoted above her ability to manage.

This newly created fluidity of tasks has been happening for one day, a long day with several communication gaps in it. The people who are being affected by this new fluidity all have different information about what I will be doing, including me. The policy and procedure was written, given to me, sent to others, edited and not sent back to me. NICE. The group who has been most resistent to the new fluidity today became the group whose leader now wants the complete program going today. I have not been inserviced myself, so I am learning as I go. The medical staff have not been notified of the changes that are taking place. The goal is a one stop shop .... one call does it all .... in getting a patient transferred in to the building....from another hospital or admitted from home... Good idea. It will take frexibility of self to perform the fluidity of tasks... Hope it happens.

death in the family

We learned this evening that my husband's brother died this evening. Dropped dead in the Walmart parking lot. He had been to the doctor and had gone to pick up the medicine that was prescribed. He was 50 years old. Oddly, his father dropped dead at 52. My husband has cleared both of those age hurdles and his doctor says that whatever kills him, it won't be his heart. All three of them had/have diabetes, a sneaky illness that affects many body parts. The brother had a stroke in the past, that he pretty much got over, although he had a lot of blockage in the arteries in the neck. The chest discomfort he was describing was diagnosed as stomach problems. He was overweight, but doing better on that note. He had been in a bad wreck some time ago and had some residual aches and pains that he always had to deal with.

My husband and his brother had been pretty much estranged in these past several years. Lots of water under the bridge that was too treacherous to cross. Then just lately, in the last year and more often quite recently around Christmas time, they had been talking on the phone. He and his 16 year old son were living together in Missouri where he went to start over after years of problems with work, health and largely marraige. He did not mention that his wife had joined him a couple of months back after almost 2 years apart. Makes you wonder what happens in everybody's daily lives that they dare not share with someone, anyone. It is sad, the state people are in, just struggling to make it from one day to the next.

He had changed his life around over the years. Guess it shows that it's never too late.

He tried to be a good role model to his youngest son. He was active in scouting with him, wanted him to grow into a good man, as he had been a "good" child. He missed that opportunity with his older son due to an ugly divorce and the excess baggage that hard living brings with it, until the son sought him out. They made up for lost time. He has a daughter too. They all know that he loved them. And he knew that they loved him. That is important to me. That they are sure of it.

I hate to see my husband in this kind of pain, grieving for Lost family, lost opportunity, lost time.Each loss adds to the bureden he bears. Not only with his brother, of course, because this brings up all the relationships that were or are on the wrong wavelength. and What to do?? There is no right answer. There are just choices to make and life as we know it goes on.

What will I do without him if he dies before I do? He has his ways, as we all do, but he has been good to me. He too was a good role model for our son. and sadly he has struggled with fatherhood in our later years. He has seen his son deteriorate and there appears that there is nothing he can do about it. We have made poor financial decisions and have struggled because of that, but things are getting better right now, so I hope he is able to breath a little easier. He has made two new friends at his job this year. He has lost his two best friends in the past few years. The loss of those guys caused him signifcant grief and pain and he more or less withdrew from friendship making for a while. Really, he withdrew from everything after that, I guess as self protection. The only thing that has kept him going and upbeat is our grand daughter. My God how lucky we are to have her in our lives. and what on earth would we do without her? I just learned tonight that a friend has lost her only grandchild at 6 months after 4 months of prematurity in NICU and struggling for life for 2 months. He just got a clean bill of health from his doctor on Thursday and on Friday he was gone. "We know not the hour" .

Good sleep

I have gotten some sorely needed sleep and rest. We have not had the Girl since Wednesday and I have been able to sleep more of the night since then. On Friday, I took my medication, and I feel much better. My shoulder was injected on Wednesday and has been better and better. That helps me sleep too. I miss the girl terribly and wonder what she is doing all the time, but I do not feel guilty about not having her these past few days. Saturday was spent mostly resting, too. We watched a movie, did a little hosework, took the ornaments off the tree and rested and slept. It is now time for my weekend afternoon nap. I am testing the theory that a nap helps you sleep better at night. I'll let you know how it works out.

paranoia is not for sissies

If you ever have thought that something or someone was out to get you, you might be right. I do not trust my boss and it seems that I take quite personally the rare negative thing she has to say to me. Recently the boss told me that my job was going to change. How right she was.... of course she has been saying this for some time and repeatedly told me that she would be letting me know what changes were coming. Also of course, she has not followed up on letting me know. The day that she p icks to tell me that she doesn't think I see the big picture and that I tend to escalate issues rather than solve them is the same day she tells me that my job is changing BIG TIME and that I have a choice to stay with the current job and work everyother Saturday and take duties away from a very territorial and cliqueish group. or move to a more physically taxing and mentally challenging job based in the ER and work later into the evenings. Gee what fun. I felt that I was being set up for failure either way I went. I chose to stay in my current position with the changes coming up. I asked her what was the point of extending the hours to include Saturdays and she told me that after a meeting yesterday, the Saturday idea was on hold. Hooray for me. I question my ability to do the new duties right off the bat. I don't know why I do that to myself sometimes. I hold myself to high standards and I know that I have lost some of my zip especially this past year with the brain tumor and surgery. So when these sudden changes come up, I get scared that I won;t remember all the details of the not yet completed duty sheet. Since I have been in this job, there has been a major change in it at least once a year. I have made it through all the changes unscathed so far. BUt that doesn't stop me from not trusting the upper level - personally or professionally - their motives and their explanations.

A NEW YEAR

They say what you do on New Years day, you do the rest of the year. In that case, we will be having our grand daughter with us even more often that we do now. She has been with us for now 5 nights and it's only Jan 2. Don't get me wrong, we love to have her with us and would like her to live here full time. BUT the SD just can't seem to find the heart to have her come home. There is an excuse every day. There seems to be fever running rampant, although the girls (half) brother's fever has been run at the other grand mother's house, not at the SD's house. Just like the girl, as soon as fever showed up, he was shuttled off to some other house, because after all, the doctor said it was highly contaigous and it would be terrible if the new baby got fever too. Yesterday, it was the SD herself who had "fever". Of course, there hasn't been a thermometer in that house for at least a year if not longer. I wonder what people did in the old days when there wasn't someone to pawn your kids off on every time you got the urge. I do not wish any ill on any of her children. I certainly do not want the baby to get sick, but I certainly don't want our girl to get sick again either. So we will go out of our way to keep her with us to keep her away from fever and away from crazy people. Now suddenly, the SD will be picking the girl up at 3pm tomorrow from school -- that is quite a change from the 5;30 OR LATER that she usually manages to send the boy friend up to school to pick her up. But tomorrow, there is a big shin dig at her mothers house with family coming from out of town, so she has to be there with her brood to show off her perfect little family. IHTB.