my son is changing

I talked to my son by phone tonight. He called from the drug treatment facility he has now been in for a week. He sounds good, actually too good to be true. I am encouraged and wary at the same time. This is the first time I have ever heard him say that when he looks in the mirror he likes what he sees and that he does not have to prove that he is the hardest man walking. Amazing. Let it continue for a long time to come. He has done some hard thinking and praying and expresses a desire to continue to change his life.

brain trouble

I accompanied my spouse to the Neurosurgeon today. Yikes. The Doctor was informative and impressed with the significance of the problem. When he put the MRI up in comparison to a normal brain and skull structure, it was quite obvious how much of the brain has been pressed downward on to the spine. He feels that all the symptoms described are coming from the malformation. There is not any hydrocephalus, which is a very good thing, and there is not any cyst formation in the spinal cord, which is also a very good thing. So things could be worse. And his problems are not life threatening at this time. The decision to operate lies with my husband. How much problem can he deal with before he decides to have it fixed. If not operated on now, the problem will progress, but to what extent is hard to say. What we don't want is any big surprises. My husband does not want to have a surgery slip up on him in the middle of the school year. If he is going to have it, he wants it during the summer months. So , which summer? The one coming up, to get it over with and to put a stop to this stumbling and dizziness and bothersome numbness of the hands and arms, or one in the future.We will need one summer in the next few years to take the girl to Disney WOrld. He needs to be able to enjoy that trip with her. I believe after some thinking today, he is opting for this summer. But he has time to think about it some more. He had a terrible headache today after unloading the truck for the upteenth time in the past week. He is concerned that he might fall with our grand daughter in his arms. Our son may have problems coping with this type of situation - that is , brain surgery and all that goes with it. And he may not be able to be in attendance for the procedure due to his current circumstances. Sooooo. we ponder. An interesting fact is how much of the skull is actually removed to give the squeezed part of the brain a chance to be released from the entrapment. You won't be able to tell from the outside because the area in question is up under the back of the head in a place that is covered with muscle. They also have to open the scar tissue that has formed to let the brain move back to a more normal position. They patch the open place with part of a pig heart. This little piggy will definitely go to market.

points to ponder

My son was moved from the parish jail, where he has been for 2 months, to a drug and alcohol treatment center, one week earlier than expected.He called me at work to ask for some supplies from home. He told about 3 times that he loved me and that he wanted me to kiss his daughter for him. When his Dad went to bring him some essentials, they let them talk for a few minutes. Our son told his Dad it was a BLESSING that he was there in the treatment center. He had been to bible study, had been praying for things to happen, the barber came by so he got a haircut which had made him happy in itself. Then the next morning they told him to get his things together because he was moving on. He was so happy. He said that when he got to Red River, he stood outside in the sun and just let the wind blow on his face. He told us that he was going to make the best of being there, not like he did before when he signed himself out. He said some of the people who are there are angry and don't want to be there. He says they don't know what they are doing. He told his Dad he has set a goal to find a way to pay for his daughter to go to college. Amazing what some time alone can do. It may all fall apart again, but right now there is hope.

beware the upgrade

you people out there who think up these upgrades for programs must be very smart. I don't know how you can quickly make changes by toodleing a few keystrokes and dragging and dropping stuff and viola, something old is new again. HOWEVER, I do not like the changes that have been made to this blog site with the upgrade you kept insisting that I take part in. I do not want to have to log in to two different programs everytime I want to look at or edit by blog space. Get Real. THis is supposed to be for my convenience and entertainment. I find it distracting and I am going to find a way around it with the help of my genius neice. so there.

hint of trouble

The first hint of trouble with the SD showed up today. She is not taking her medicine correctly and it shows. She is anxious, obsessed with the issue of a change in medication, expressing concern about what to do with the kids when she takes the new medicine for the first time. On a good note, when I called her mom to inquire if she had seen the same thing, she had. AND the SD had called her uncle who thank you lord is a psychaitrist, and he told her she must start the new medicine and start with a low dose and work her up if necessary. The girl is with us and the baby is with the SD's mother, so the heat is off the SD for the moment. I want her to have a second chance and really to do well, and this is only 6 days home and there's a problem already. It shows that her stability is very fragile and alerts me to be even more watchful. Yikes.

turn of events

A weird thing happened today. Our Clinical Coordinator, who does the lions share of work for the boss, told the boss that she could no longer attempt to take on my old duties. That my old duties is a full time job. etc etc. This is happening very close to the time that I will be moving to the newest job they have given me. One that has me concerned that I won't be physically able to cope with. The two of them went upstairs to the boss's boss for the 2 oclock meeting they have every Tuesday. It is my understanding that during this meeting the CC and the boss discussed with the boss's boss the above info. I do not know the outcome of the meeting, as I am not supposed to be aware of the topic discussed. Now what do you think happened next? Either during the meeting or right afterward, the boss began to feel ill. Turns out she had quite a high blood pressure. They came back to the office. She developed some numbness and tingling of her face , spoke to her doctor and was directed to the Emergency Room. They slipped quietly out of the department and down the hall. It was only when the CC came back for their purses that she told someone what had happened. She didn't tell the person to spread the news or to be mum. One of the other staff heard some of their conversation, and asked if they were ok. The CC stepped into her line of sight and said everything was ok. She was going to stay with the boss till her spouse got there. I can't figure out why the illness was so hush hush. It may not mean a thing except that she did not want to make a big deal out of the situation, or she could have been frightened. As mad and disgusted as I have been with her over these past few weeks and or months, I have to say I felt left out by not being asked to help or being told she was ill. I must be nutso for sure. Any way, we left work without any of the others of us going down to check on her. We discussed it and assumed that we were not wanted to intrude. We'll see how things are tomorrow.

Brain Power

A little over a year ago, I had a tumor in the pituitary, a gland connected to the brain. It ruptured and bled. The action of the bleeding and what it can do to you is called Apoplexy. That is supposed to kill you, funny thing is, it gave me a terrible headache and made me throw up, but I'm still kicking. It is rare that a person sails through Apoplexy. I eventually had surgery to remove the remainder of the dried up dead tumor and I am more or less back to "normal". I have trouble with numbers now and don't process things as fast, but I was not quite normal before either. Now we find that my dear husband has a rare brain condition called Arnold-Chiari malformation. It seems that the lower part of the back of the brain is pushed down through the opening in the skull where the brain meets the spinal cord. Then the pushed down part pushes against the spinal cord and you start to have weird symptoms. like stumbling around, hands and arms becoming numb and tingly, numbness and tingling of the face and head, a change in sense of taste, a new increased hearing loss. What causes part of the brain to get pushed downward you ask? Well, it could be that you have begun to collect excess fluid in the ventricles of the brain. This fluid has to have a place to go so it pushed on the part of the brain that has a place to move. So now we are waiting for an appointment with my neurosurgeon to see what he thinks. Our primary care MD, who we love dearly, is not yet convinced that this malformation is the cause of his symptoms. I am not so sure....but when you start putting two and two together it seems that you get four,,,,I need to hear what the brain surgeon has to say. PS The girls at work say we should move away, our house must be haunted or built on top of a toxic waste dump.

things look better

The Girl's mom, aka the SD, has been released from a psychiatric hospital where she spent 10 days after literally going off the deep end of normalacy. She seems well medicated, a little anxious, and looks better than I have seen in months. I think the anxiety is coming from overcompensation, she thinks it's from them meds. She sees someone Tuesday so hopefully she will talk about it with them. We decided to play by ear the decision to let The GIrl go with her mama or not. The whole point of all of this is to do what is best for the Girl. I did not want to cause increased anxiety by not allowing her the option, dictating where she could be, etc. And the first meeting after release was at the other mawmaw's house so they were there too. I did not want to be there because it causes another distraction and The Girl bounces from one to the other like a ping pong ball, not sure where to land. The Girl was so happy to see her mama. She informed me by phone that her mama was feeling much better because the doctor gave her some medicine. She will hardly leave her sight. We will continue to monitor the situation daily, as I told her mama on the phone when she was released on Friday. I have to be sure you can handle yourself and the daily activities that go along with your routine. She is being very cooperative with me, and her negative attention is on the other family of the 6 year old who are seeking full custody. This should all help us get the joint custody we have been trying for for 2 years.

The Girl's dad has had some time to think, it seems. He asked for a Bible with a glossary. He has been going to a Bible study. He told his dad that just lately 3 people were saved. His dad explained to him that many people in jail are looking for anything to help them, and that it may not "last" when they get out, but it can help them while they are there. One guy gave them all his cigarettes and quit cold turkey because he was through putting poisons in his body. The dad doesn't want to smoke the guy's cigarettes because he feels he will be needing them back, but he hasn't had one in a week and seems to b e doing well. This guy happens to be someone who my husband taught in school some years ago who still remembers him and spoke well of him. It's a small world.