angry or hurt or both
I sent my grandbaby mama a letter outlining why I didn't want her to keep the child overnight by herself yet. She is in recovery and is living in a 3/4 house. She is doing well, but I have some concerns. I sent a copy of the letter to her parents. The point of the copy was to keep the open communication and good relation ship going that we have all around. Well call me a fool. I got a letter from the other grandmother who must have been angry when she wrote. She focused on my double standards and all the failure I have had with my son, the grandbaby daddy. She pointed out some positive things about her daughter that I had not mentioned in the letter. She ended the letter by telling me not to communicate with her unless it concerned the best interest of the grandbaby.
This has really caught me off guard. I thought we were both working toward the same goal of getting her daughter back on track and each of us taking care of a respective grandchild. I thought we got along well and were open and honest with each other. This is another area of stress that will now affect the child unless I am very careful. Another thing to manage.
I didn't talk to the other grandmother much about my son because the child was usually there and I have to be careful what is said. She thinks both her parents are at school to learn how to be better parents. She is only 4 years old and has seen plenty in those years.
Many times when I would bring up a problem to the grandbaby's mama she would lash out at me about my son. To me this is a way of saying, don't complain about me, look at your son. The two issues are separate. The two people are separate. They do affect the child, but they are separate. My son is no angel, we have had tremendous trouble with him, we have tried many solutions and currently have charges pressed against him. We have chosen to leave him incarcerated until his court date. We asked the judge to mandate drug and mental health treatment no matter what his sentence would be. It does cause extra problems because he lives here. Our latest plan was that he would not come back because he would go to treatment and a half way house. But it appears the judge wants him in drug court. To make that have a chance to work, He has no place to go but here and has made a commitment to us to try to work the program. We can only hope that he will. It is not the best situation, but we will have to make it work.
It's not like we have ignored the whole situation since we found out the baby was on the way. We have made plans from the beginning to be there in case there were problems. And there have been problems over and over. On both sides. That's why we have custody. Not my son and us, Just us. I want to say that it appears as though they have ignored the signs until it was too late, blamed our son, belived her, etc. It was only recently that they asked for his help in finding out some things and seemed to have a new view of him. And does she think we don't know we have failure here? Gee, thanks for pointing it out so plainly. I'll surely remember your concern.
This has really caught me off guard. I thought we were both working toward the same goal of getting her daughter back on track and each of us taking care of a respective grandchild. I thought we got along well and were open and honest with each other. This is another area of stress that will now affect the child unless I am very careful. Another thing to manage.
I didn't talk to the other grandmother much about my son because the child was usually there and I have to be careful what is said. She thinks both her parents are at school to learn how to be better parents. She is only 4 years old and has seen plenty in those years.
Many times when I would bring up a problem to the grandbaby's mama she would lash out at me about my son. To me this is a way of saying, don't complain about me, look at your son. The two issues are separate. The two people are separate. They do affect the child, but they are separate. My son is no angel, we have had tremendous trouble with him, we have tried many solutions and currently have charges pressed against him. We have chosen to leave him incarcerated until his court date. We asked the judge to mandate drug and mental health treatment no matter what his sentence would be. It does cause extra problems because he lives here. Our latest plan was that he would not come back because he would go to treatment and a half way house. But it appears the judge wants him in drug court. To make that have a chance to work, He has no place to go but here and has made a commitment to us to try to work the program. We can only hope that he will. It is not the best situation, but we will have to make it work.
It's not like we have ignored the whole situation since we found out the baby was on the way. We have made plans from the beginning to be there in case there were problems. And there have been problems over and over. On both sides. That's why we have custody. Not my son and us, Just us. I want to say that it appears as though they have ignored the signs until it was too late, blamed our son, belived her, etc. It was only recently that they asked for his help in finding out some things and seemed to have a new view of him. And does she think we don't know we have failure here? Gee, thanks for pointing it out so plainly. I'll surely remember your concern.
posted by chloesgrandma1 @ 5:10 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home