Let it be

Let it be is my husband's new mantra. He tells it to me quite often. He is trying to keep me from going over the edge. I am working on not going over the edge. I am better now than I was on Monday. So that is good. But I'm not letting it all be. I am letting the other grandmother be. She made me mad and hurt my feelings by mail on Sautrday, but I don't think she could help it and in the long run she may not really have meant it like she said it. She may actually need me at some point. She is also going over the edge. So I should not do anything to make it worse, and I did just that although it was unintentional. AND anything she says or does can not hold a candle to the newest wrinkle in the sheet. I am not able to let be the fact that my son is digging yet a bigger hole for himself to be buried in. There is nothing I can do about it. That is part of my anxiety. We pressed charges against him last year for forgery and theft. He finally went to court over those and some other charges Monday. He was sentenced to not less than 10 years and not more than 70 years at hard labor in the state penitentary, sentence delayed while he is in two years of drug court. So he has two years to follow rules and be clean and work when he hasn't been able to do it for 10 years. One day at a time is not possible for me at this moment. I am trying, but I am way ahead of myself. and I am "what if" ing like crazy. Each day is a little better though. I am able to concentrate a little better at work and am able to talk about. My son is calmer than I have ever seen him. He seems to think he can do it. For his sake and his daughter's sake, and for his dad and me, I hope he can.