5 years

How do you separate yourself from someone for 5 years? My son is facing 5 years in prison. He goes to court on Feb 23 for probation violation and possession of drugs and paraphenalia. He has finally gotten to the point of no return, at least in my opinion. He Probation Officer does not want him to get an easy term even though this is his first violation. She wants the judge to revoke his probation and give him his full sentence because he has been uncooperative in his probation. This is how he rolls. He thinks he won't get caught, or that he isn't doing anything "wrong". He's only sorry when he gets caught. And amazingly he had just begun or appeared to have begun to make some changes in his life when it all went up in smoke. Not that this is bad enough, but he also has cancer, testicular cancer, he has had it since May of 08 and is currently in remission, goes to the doctor once a month and I do wonder if he will continue to go once this comes down. He plans to go this month, but I wonder if he will continue to do so if he becomes so depressed over the sentence. He has severe depression, bipolar disorder and has antisocial and or borderline personality disorders. For the past several years I have thought he would not live to see his 25th birthday, but he has made it. This is at least the 2nd if not 3rd birthday he has celebrated in jail. He has had serious problems since he was 13, but his troubles life goes back farther than that. Just not as bad. He now has a 5 year old daughter. Neither he nor the child's mother has custody of the child. We, her paternal grandparents have custody. She knows that her daddy is in jail and that he stole something. She does not seem distraught about it. She seems resigned to it. She has been able to figure out before now that he was unreliable and unpredictable. We have explained to her that he is not like other dads and that he does love her in his way. Not the same way that we love her. and that we will be here for her no matter what. We do not plan on taking her to visit him should he be gone for the duration of the sentence. We suppose we will let her write to him if she wants, or talk to him on the phone if she wants, but not make her do it. We have a niece and nephew in law who we intend to involve more in her life as time goes on too. Some normal people.