Just checking

Mr grand daughter is with her mother this afternoon. She was supposed to be picked up at 11. It happened at 2. Mama "overslept" She had a date last night. Any way, after the girl and been with her mother for a couple of hours she called my cell phone just to check on me. I think it is a survival tactic on her part, just to make sure we are still here, even if things are going ok where she is. We chatted a while, she told me what was going on and what she had been doing, what she had for lunch and so forth, then had me talk to her mama for a minute. Mama said she would call me back, That won't happen most likely. They will just show up later on. Mama is sort of avoiding being alone with me or on the phone with me because she knows I am not done asking her some questions...ok, giving her the third degree...is another way of putting it. She has been ignoring her kids and her parents for several days now... and from the conversation we had she has had time to do other things so she has had time to call and at least just check on them, but has elected not to do so for what ever reason. Now today, something has made her call her family and she has found out that her father is having some kind of surgery tomorrow. She was rather put out that she didn't know about it until today. I said maybe you should call more often.. . Off she went, to her grandmothers, so again, i didn't get to talk to her. She needs something she is not getting and I don't know how to guide her, or if she would accept the guidance. She won't be still long enough to really listen to a conversation.

growing up

My grand daughter has taken to going to her room by herself for periods of time. She watches tv, torments the cat, plays with her dog or does what she does. Some times she comes out to see what we are doing or to ask me to come see something. She also storms to her room if she gets mad at us. She has tried sleeping in her own bed a few times, but she comes back to us for the sleeping part. She will probably continue that for a while and transition to her own bed in time. She is growing up she told me so. She likes to watch what we watch on tv, not just kid shows.

Her mother called for the first time in two weeks. Said she had been working nights. She talked to Chloe, I don't know what was said, I was at a meeting and CHloe didn't have anything to say about the call. I will try to check out the situation today.

new shoes

WHile getting ready for school yesterday, we went through 3 pair of shoes before my grand daughter selected a pair that fit. The first two pair were ones I brought to her. She said they were too tight. A growing girl. Why do I keep the shoes that are too tight, you ask? That is a good question. I have got to get a good will box going. THey are perfectly good shoes she was wearing 5 minutes ago. Well, to satisfy this problem, the girl and her pawpaw went to Target to look for some shoes that fit. They came home with 3 pair. One is pink and sparkly and will be worn this morning - and every morning he thinks. Another is a pair of actual sneakers and the third is similar to the pink pair, low cut Mary Jane style leathers in white with straps. All are cute and Pawpaw did a great job as usual. She also wanted to get some beach shoes, but he was able to steer her away from them for the time being. We are planning a trip to the beach but we have a little time to get her shoes together prior to that. Then I got a pair of crocs in the mail from an eBay purchase, yep, whitish beach shoes. Cool, but I got beach shoes and she didn't. So we explained that these were the only ones they had and I had big feet and shoes were hard for me to find, etc etc. She was satisfied with that answer. We should be ok for shoes now.

a child's perspective

My grand daughter who is 5 has a half sister who is 2, but of course, it is her sister. She told me "I bet (sister) is missing me". I said I bet you could be missing her too, Why don't we call (other Maw Maw) and see what they are doing. So we called and arranged a visit. It went well. She really didn't want to leave when it was time to go, which is new. WHile we were there, she asked about her mother. I reminded her that her mother told me that she was not feeling well and was at her girlfriend's house. As it turns out, other MawMaw hasn't seen or heard from her since Wednesday and this was Sunday. This in and out is not going to work. She is going to have to make a choice of how she is going to live. I think she needs to go back to rehab or into some other kind of counseling. Anyway, the explanation of her being sick and at the friend;s house seemed to satisfy her, that was the end of the conversation. Later on after supper we were taping up a box that is going to her dad who is incarcerated for drug related thefts. She wants to know again how long he would be gone again? weeks? months? and I said lots of months. She said Years? and I said "Yes baby, two years" She said, "Gosh what did he take that was so important that he has to be there two years?" I told her I didn't know (which is technically true) She wanted to know why he stole things and I explained that people stole stuff and sold it so they could get money to buy drugs. She said "I knew he did drugs because of all those cigarettes and pipes on the carport and he drinks beer too." I said yes you are right. I was making the address label and she made one too. On hers she "wrote" a note that said"Tell the judge you are sorry and you want to come home."

good check up

My son is in prison for at least 20 months for drug related thefts. You can't buy drugs without money. You can't work if you're messed up on drugs, so you steal stuff to get your drugs. Easy enough till you get caught. Anyway. He also has cancer. I know, it sounds terrible, but it is in remission after 3 surgeries and 3 rounds of chemo. He goes for check ups now. The nursing staff in the faciltiy where he is arranges his follow up visits now. He isn't told when he is going ahead of time for security reasons, Rules are rules. So I have had to let go of being the care giver and making sure I got him to his appointments and paid attention to what was said because he wouldn/t necessairily remember, depending on his frame of mind the next week or next month when he needed to remember something. The good news is that he got a good check up both with Urology and Cancer clinics. He will go back again for another visit but he will not be told when that is, again for security reasons. Assuming he makes it through May without a recurrence, he will then only have to go every other month to the cancer clinic. Yea!!

Friday with friends

She had a ball Friday night. Periodically the church has a get togerher of the the Sunday schoolers and their friends. This one was in the gym and you were to bring your wheels, skates, skooters, what ever. They had a great time. My friend and her grand daughter were there and they played together the whole time. Then we went back to their house for an hour of more playing. WHile there she got a magazine all about the Jonas Brothers. O my gosh, sister, was she excited. She was perfectly happy the whole evening. Her mom came and watched her with us. Sometimes she would call out to her mom to watch her and sometimes she would call out to me. She was supposed to go with her mother after the gym, but mom said she had to go work. It appeared to be true, she does work part time in the evening doing stock work. So now mom is supposed to come get her this morning for the rest of the weekend. I hope that works out for her. I hate it when she gets hurt by someone not doing what they say they are going to do..

aging parents

The time has come for me to help care for my mother. She was sick for three days in the hospital and is now not able to be by herself. she is staying at my sister's house. My sister and her husband are retired, so are the most logical choice for a place for mama to be at the present time. My husband and I are still working and we are raising our 5 year old grand daughter. We plan to get a room ready for mama for the week ends to give my sister a break. My mama has lost a good bit of her short term memory or logic or something. She had been acutely ill with an altered mental status that they are still not sure of the cause. She is better each day, but not back to baseline. and I think she is realizing it now. I hope she does not deteriorate any more than this and just ups and dies one night in her sleep. Which is what she would prefer too. She is almost 90, only 6 weeks or so to go. I hope she makes it.

irresponsible woman

the grand daughter's mother is irresponsible. I want to choke her today. this is two days in a row without the back pack which has the all important school folder in it. This has caused great concern for the child. There will be no more going with mom during the school week. Too much drama. Her homework was not done, She was upset and crying and her mother brought her home instead of working it out and finishing out the evening how it was planned. I have explained to the grand daughter that if she makes plans to go with the mother to other mawmaw's she is supposed to stay there. She said I want to come home when Mama is mean to me. I asked her if mama was being mean to her tonight and she said she didn't want to live with me anymore because I didn't want her. I of course said that was not true, That I would always want her and that she lived here. She could not live with her mama right now because mama was trying to figure out what to do. That sometimes she had a place to live and sometimes she did not. Right now mama lives with other mawmaw and so she can go stay with her on the weekends. She says she wants her mama all the time. I told her she could not have her mama all the time. It wasn't going to work out like that. After a little while of her being mad and crying, she settled down and we were able to go t sleep. She is expecting to see her back pack at the door when she gets up and of course it is not here. Here homework will not be done for the first time this year. I will send the teacher the free homework page so she won';t get in trouble for not having it.

a happy kid

My grand daughter was a happy kid when she came home from visiting with her mother at the zoo. She says that her mother is going to pick her up after gymnastics tomorrow and that she is going to spend the night with her mama at other mawmaw's house. She had a great time. Some times when she gets home she could care less but today must have been a really good day. She is watching Harry Potter alternately with me or with PawPaw. Depends on who she is piled up with at the moment. It is good to see her happy. She is happy a lot lately. Not as fussy as she had been. Maybe it's because her daddy is not here now. When he was here, sometimes he would totally ignore her and us, and sometimes he would pay attention to her, so she has more of a routine now.

going downhill

My mother is going down hill. Fast. She gave us a fright last week. Went bonkers. absolutely. And then three doctors could not figure out why. That's what we do in our family. Have syndromes or illnesses without a cause or that are rare. She is much better now, but we can not leave her alone. THANK GOD my sister and her husband are retired and are willing to look after her on a daily basis, other wise she would have to go into a nursing home as we do not have the cash for a sitter. Mama does not want to go into a nursing home - who would, I guess- but that time may still come. She has gotten better everyday since she was taken ill but is still not back to baseline, and may not get back to baseline. She is 89 after all. And this illness took a toll on her. She is quite tired, but doesn't seem to realize it, as in just woke up from a nap and is ready to take another one. And her memory, once tenuous is now shot for the most part. Some things she is sharp as tack about, and others are out the window. And she is hard headed as ever, so that is going to make convincing her of something a hard job - but every now and then, she just says OK when you start to explain how something happened. It may not be worth her time to argue with us. She is absolutely certain she will be able to attend to her one event of the week, a senior outing at the Church of God on Wednesday. no matter what, she is going. So that is good, she has a goal and is correct on when and where it is, etc So even if it is downhill, she is in control of a tiny portion of it and can still enjoy that part of her life.