truth and consequences
We are a couple of truth tellers. We don't lie. We don't cheat on our taxes. We don't watch pirated videos. We were church goers and could be again. We try to live right and do right. We will praise our granddaughter for good, or remarkable things done. We will make a punishment appropriate for a 5 year old if she does something that needs punishment. Most of the time that would be time out with discussion., no TV, take away some fun item, etc. On a rare occassion she might get a swat on the butt or legs if she goes out of control. The point being that good behavior is expected and appreciated and bad behavior is punished.
We have turned our son in for theft in the past (long story if you aren't familiar). We expect a person to have a punishment that fits the "crime". Our son is on probation for 5 years for a number of charges including theft from us. We have never expected him to make it the full five years of his probation without getting in trouble again, violating probation it is called. He has a probation officer who appears to take his problems of mental illness and cancer into consideration, but still expects him to adhere to the rules and be a good citizen while on probation. A few days ago, he violated his probation. As far as we know he did not commit any crimes against another person, just against himself, such as drinking, being in the company of another felon, possession of paraphenalia and drugs, which of course he doesn't see as much of a problem at all. After all, he is a grown man and he can drink if he wants to, hang out with his friends and that stuff is old and not even his, he isn't using. He is getting ready for his girlfriend to come home so they can have a life together. He has even been looking for a job at a place or two. So he is in hopes that he will only be given the usual 90 day first time violators sentence when he goes to court.
WHen our grand daughter was much younger we told her that her Daddy was away at work when he was in jail. We felt she was just too young for it. She is not too young now. I fretted over how she would react, not wanting to give her adult worries about something that she could do nothing about. PawPaw and my two strongest confidants at work were all in agreement to tell her and not to lie to her, especially given the chance that someone else would let it slip out or purposely tell her to be mean. So we told her. She took it well it the way it was done, calmly and simply. She wanted to know how long he would be gone. I told her probably till the summer. She processed this for a few seconds then asked if she could go off to play with the dog, feeding him yogurt actually. A little later she came to me weeping for her mother, missing her. I asked if was because of her dad, she said no I just want my mama. She has not done that in weeks. I was unable to contact her mother since her phone is not working. It took a little time and cuddling to get over the hump but in a little while, she was back to her normal self. We all seem to be surviving. Our hope is that this is the last time we go through this, It could happen.
We have turned our son in for theft in the past (long story if you aren't familiar). We expect a person to have a punishment that fits the "crime". Our son is on probation for 5 years for a number of charges including theft from us. We have never expected him to make it the full five years of his probation without getting in trouble again, violating probation it is called. He has a probation officer who appears to take his problems of mental illness and cancer into consideration, but still expects him to adhere to the rules and be a good citizen while on probation. A few days ago, he violated his probation. As far as we know he did not commit any crimes against another person, just against himself, such as drinking, being in the company of another felon, possession of paraphenalia and drugs, which of course he doesn't see as much of a problem at all. After all, he is a grown man and he can drink if he wants to, hang out with his friends and that stuff is old and not even his, he isn't using. He is getting ready for his girlfriend to come home so they can have a life together. He has even been looking for a job at a place or two. So he is in hopes that he will only be given the usual 90 day first time violators sentence when he goes to court.
WHen our grand daughter was much younger we told her that her Daddy was away at work when he was in jail. We felt she was just too young for it. She is not too young now. I fretted over how she would react, not wanting to give her adult worries about something that she could do nothing about. PawPaw and my two strongest confidants at work were all in agreement to tell her and not to lie to her, especially given the chance that someone else would let it slip out or purposely tell her to be mean. So we told her. She took it well it the way it was done, calmly and simply. She wanted to know how long he would be gone. I told her probably till the summer. She processed this for a few seconds then asked if she could go off to play with the dog, feeding him yogurt actually. A little later she came to me weeping for her mother, missing her. I asked if was because of her dad, she said no I just want my mama. She has not done that in weeks. I was unable to contact her mother since her phone is not working. It took a little time and cuddling to get over the hump but in a little while, she was back to her normal self. We all seem to be surviving. Our hope is that this is the last time we go through this, It could happen.
posted by chloesgrandma1 @ 4:47 AM
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